Today I'm going to be talking about Becoming the Real You...exploring challenges that we may face, and things that might help us on our journey, and I'm going to get to that in just a second.
If we've never met before, my name is Martina Cevero, founder of Finding Treasure: The Journey Home through oracle cards and astrology. In my 50+ years, I've had many life experiences and opportunities...7 years in a religious community, 30+ years as a Catholic school teacher, studying, counselling, reflecting, journalling ... by sharing my story, I hope to be a source of support and encouragement for you, wherever you are on your life's journey. If you want to know how this Catholic school teacher and former nun ended up becoming an oracle card reader and astrologer, keep watching.
One of my most favourite books is The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. It tells the story of a stuffed rabbit and his desire to become real, through the love of his owner.
“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.' 'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit. 'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.' 'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?' 'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.” ― Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit
There is so much wisdom in this story. Becoming real happens when someone loves you, really loves you, for a very long time. Becoming real happens when WE learn to love ourselves just as we are. Becoming real can hurt. It doesn't happen all at once. You become. I become. We become.
And becoming real isn't easy.
I grew up in a family where the rules were "Don't talk; don't trust; don't feel."
And I learned them well.
Don't talk about family secrets...especially about my father's drinking, my parents' fighting; their separation... Don't trust. Don't feel. I went numb inside.
I could not be real.
When I was 7 years old, I was the go-between for my parents when they would not talk to each other. I thought that if I was "good enough" or "perfect enough", if I just tried "hard enough" that I'd have the power to bring my parents back together and that they'd do it out of love for me. Of course that did not work out, and I felt like I had failed the mission I believed I was to do.
I grew up very quickly...super-responsible, dependable, reliable, trustworthy, a perfectionist, a straight A student...super-serious. I didn't know how to play or have fun. I felt so old. At 8 years old, I felt like a 40-year-old midget with a facelift.
I took on the role of caretaker, the fixer-upper, the peacemaker...
That's what people saw on the outside. They never knew about the nightmares. They never knew of the loneliness, the sadness, the fear, the shame that was deep inside, how I felt like an afterthought, that I didn't belong.
When I was 8, my parents separated, and I lived with my mother. She was my best friend and we were close. Home and school were my life.
I tried to be good, to help out, to be that perfect little girl that she could be proud of. I never felt good enough.
I was born and raised Catholic and in my late teens, I started getting involved with things at church. I started to develop close friendships AND I started to break those rules, beginning to share my story with friends that I trusted. I was beginning to grow. The more I opened up, the happier I was and the more "alive" I felt.
But as that happened, the distance grew between me and my mom.
I couldn't share with her like I used to.
And that's when I began to feel like a hypocrite. I'd be loving and kind, generous and helpful, with my friends "out in the world" and then I'd come home and be impatient and feel angry with my mom.
So at a young age, I learned that it was safer to hide...wearing the masks that I needed for the right occasion...for family, for friends, for acquaintances ... showing one face to the world and feeling totally different on the inside.
Can you relate to this?
Being one way with family, another way with friends, another way with others.
Would the real Martina please stand up?
My dream had always been to be of service to others.
Ever since I was little, I dreamed of becoming a nun and a teacher.
I became a nun...for 7 years.
I became a teacher.
I married.
We expanded our family with fur and feather babies.
Then my husband was injured in a car accident in 2004.
Surprisingly his accident brought us closer together.
Yes, we did have our challenges, but by the grace of God,
we stayed together and I continued to look after him.
I learned more about love and commitment and faithfulness.
I retired in 2013.
My beloved passed away in 2014.
"'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”
Now the real work began.
Now it was just me and my fur and feather babies.
I needed to find my purpose again, to listen to my heart and Soul.
Instead of depending on others for their love and support,
I needed to begin to nurture and take care of myself.
Have you found yourself in this position?
So I started searching...
I tried various programs from different people...Doreen Virtue, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Bradley Nelson, Nick Ortner, reiki, quantum touch...nothing "worked"... for me.
And then I found Colette Baron-Reid. Colette is an intuitive counsellor, psychic medium, a spiritual teacher, keynote speaker, recording artist, T.V. and radio personality, and best-selling author, known worldwide.
She came here on her Messages from Spirit tour, about 5 months after my husband's passing.
I went that night, by myself. In secret. Telling no one.
In the back of my mind, all I could think of was that my church family would "die" if they knew I was going.
I talked to my husband, though. I always talk to him. And I told him that if there was ever a time that he wanted to get a message through to me, that would be the night to do it.
I was the first person to get a reading from Colette that night.
Then I started following her on Facebook, took some of her courses, started studying oracle cards and doing readings...for myself at first and then exchanging readings with other students.
I still kept this all secret, telling only 2 of my closest friends that I was doing this.
More hiding.
In the meantime, I felt like I was waking up, coming alive.
My intuition was ignited and I was always amazed at how Spirit/God/my Higher Power/the Universe spoke to me through those oracle cards.
My initial fear of using them melted away and I discovered that they were a tool for me to communicate directly with the Divine, for my highest good and for the highest good of all. Then I discovered that I could also use this gift to help others.
So I continued to take more courses with Colette.
And then I found Debra Silverman and applied astrology.
Both have taken me deeper into learning more about myself and sparking those God-given gifts that I never knew I had.
This was woo-woo stuff that I never would have even considered studying, let alone using, a couple of years earlier.
Now here I was studying, using it, and feeling the call to help others.
But that meant having to come out of hiding.
Becoming real.
Have you ever had this experience, feeling the need to come out of hiding?
I started bit by bit, sharing with people who knew me ... my hairdresser, my esthetician, one of my neighbours, my sister (not my brother...yet <G>).
Then it was former colleagues, Catholic school teachers, that I'd meet at the grocery store. When they'd ask what I was doing with all my "free" time, instead of saying all the usual mundane, everyday things, I started talking about astrology. Then gradually I was able to say that I was studying oracle cards too.
Then I faced the inevitable question about oracle cards...
Doesn't that conflict with your faith?
And I was happily able to say, "No, not at all," and continue to tell the person more about them.
I have not abandoned my faith. Not at all. In fact, I feel closer to God than ever before. I still pray, meditate, journal, read Scripture, and now I use oracle cards that help me communicate directly with Spirit. They are loving messages from the Divine that tell me quite clearly what I need to hear when I need to hear it.
Then I started getting that inner nudge that I get from Spirit, telling me that it was time to start doing paid oracle card readings.
I thought about it briefly and then decided to ignore the nudge and took another astrology course.
Then I couldn't ignore it anymore.
Putting myself "out there" for all of Facebook and the world to see was huge for me.
I started with this Facebook business page. So much learning...doing posts, videos...
Inviting friends to follow me. Deciding whether or not to send invitations to friends who were part of my church family or who were former colleagues.
NO MORE HIDING!
So they too were invited.
Some have accepted that invitation. Some haven't. And that's okay.
Then it was having a website, a logo, a business card, a phone number to call ... all baby steps.
And now I've been getting the nudge to find my own voice and share it with others.
I love Colette and Debra and I love sharing their stuff and what I've learned from them, but now I need to find my own voice, speak from my own heart.
So I did the Super Moon in Gemini and Mercury Retrograde video last week, sharing what I knew, and not simply sharing what Debra would have to say.
And I'm getting that nudge to do more videos... at least once a week. The ideas are there. You'll need to stay tuned. <G>
I like recording videos and then posting them. That way I can add text and images before I post them.
Again, I've been getting that nudge to step out even further, take the risk, and do my videos live. That's scary!
To be me...
complete with the occasional stutter or word mis-spoken;
complete with my budgies who love to sing and chirp and play when they hear my voice;
complete with dogs who may bark because I have them in another room and they'd prefer to be with their Momma;
complete with me fumbling my way through this technology and learning how to use it.
So here I am, raw and real.
What you see (and hear) is what you get. <G>
I have not forgotten my promise of a gift for you. It's coming shortly...
Recently, one of the cards from Colette's Wisdom of the Oracle Divination Cards that I was gifted with was...
#23 Peace The message from the guide book that really spoke to my heart was...
"radical acceptance... Everything in your world is exactly as it should be. ... This is one of those times when you're capable of clear vision about your work and how you create your prosperity. ... You're called by a Presence to step into your power. Just being is enough, for you are in peaceful harmony with Spirit and it shows in your work."
Radical acceptance ... step into your power ... just being is enough.
Coming into this world, I thought it was my mission to be the peacemaker, the Fixer-Upper, the caretaker, the rescuer. When my parents separated the summer I turned 8, I thought that I had failed. My mission was to bring unity and reconciliation, and I had failed. God had failed too ... no matter how hard I prayed, how "good" I was, how well I did in school, how "perfect" I tried to be ... it wasn't going to happen.
Later in life, I joined a religious community whose special mission was to work for unity and reconciliation.
Surprised? Not at all.
It's what's near and dear to my heart.
I'm being called to learn that just being is enough. The results, the choices that others make ... that's not in my power to change or fix or make "right" or judge.
I am not the Maker, the Creator, and it's not my mission to be. Everything is as it should be and my Higher Power's got this.
My mission is to be ...
to be peace, to be unity, to be reconciliation, to be love, to be forgiveness, to be compassion, to be understanding...
to hold the space for that in the lives that I'm called to touch
to be a co-creator (emphasis on "co")
to create with, alongside the Source of all Love, and Light and Peace and Compassion and Unity and Reconciliation and Joy...
to be an instrument
to be of service
to be faith-full, hope-full, joy-full, trust-full
to be REAL.
Thy will be done, not mine.
I do not have e-books, webinars, training sessions, special reports, templates, or calendars to give to you.
The only gift that I have for you is myself, and the blessings that I have been gifted with to share with you.
And so I prayed, asking "What message does Spirit have for the highest good of those who will be listening to this video?" and I was gifted with...
#10 Unfinished Symphony
Essential meanings: Unfinished business; an incomplete lesson; lack of closure; the need to make amends.
The Oracle's message: This is a time to tie up loose ends as you near the completion of a cycle or project and mastery of a lesson or skill. Before you can move forward, it's important that you come to terms with where you are now. Practice radical acceptance. Take inventory so that emotional and psychological closure can occur and the answers you seek will be found. You can't move forward if you are leaving things unfinished. Reflect on what has passed so that the symphony can finally end on a high note.
How perfect! Radical acceptance ... take inventory, reflecting back on what has passed ... come to terms with where you are now ... step into your power ... just being is enough. YOU are enough! Be the beautiful gift that you are and let your light shine for all to see.
No more hiding!
Just before I go...
Make sure to like my FB page so that you can find it in your newsfeed and you'll know when my weekly broadcast is posted or when I go Live. You can also check out my website to learn more about me, the work that I do, and the readings that I offer, by clicking the link in the description above this video.
And I have a favour to ask...
If there is anyone that you know who we can help with today's video, please be sure to share it with them. We never know the difference that we can make in someone's life by a simple act of kindness.
Thank you for listening. I look forward to seeing you next week. Until then, I wish you abundant blessings! Talk to you soon.